Happy Birthday: Japan-style

Temperature – 9

With a close friend's birthday approaching and my own the following month, I found myself thinking about how birthdays are celebrated in Japan. I recently presented on how the UK celebrates birthdays to my English-speaking society, prompted by one of our members celebrating a birthday. So, I’d like to briefly explain the differences between birthday celebrations in Japan and the UK.

First, let's discuss birthdays in general. Did you know that Japan only began celebrating individual birthdays after World War II? Before that, everyone celebrated aging up on January 1st, which marked the New Year. In that tradition, everyone aged up collectively. However, as Japan Westernized, the focus shifted to celebrating birthdays on each person's actual day of birth.

Let's consider the importance of birthdays in the UK. When you have kids, their birthdays are significant events usually marked with parties and celebrations. However, as people get older, these celebrations often become less exciting or may even go uncelebrated. I know many friends who choose to work on their birthdays and don’t see anything special about becoming another year older. Personally, I often use my birthday as an opportunity to visit a new country and check something off my bucket list. My birthday has become magicless, so I use a new country to create a memorable event.

However, like my views on Christmas, I believe that once you get married and have your own family, birthdays and Christmas can regain their magical quality. As your little unit creates its own traditions and fun.

Now, let's talk about Japan. In this regard, Japan is quite similar. Children's birthdays are prioritized, but as people age, they tend to celebrate less. I've noted that in Japan, if someone has a significant other, they often prefer to go on a date on their birthday and celebrate with family and friends later. I find this very cute. A poll conducted with 800 Japanese people revealed that those with partners wanted to spend their actual birthdays on dates, saving the family celebrations for later. I would wager that this is similar in the UK as well.

Let's compare milestone birthdays. In the UK, the milestone ages are 1, 5, 10, 16, 18, 21, and then every decade after that. In Japan, the milestones differ for boys and girls. For boys, they are celebrated at ages 3, 5, 18, 20, 60, 77, 88, and 99. For girls, the milestone ages are 3, 7, 18, 20, 60, 77, 88, and 99. After discussing this with my Japanese English teacher, I learned that it is more common to celebrate the ages 3, 5, and 7. Overall, Japan is quite similar to the UK when it comes to milestone celebrations. However, the double-digit birthdays in Japan are certainly ambitious milestones! In the UK anyone who hits 100 gets a card from the monarch.

The cake is a lie—but not in this blog! In the UK, a party isn't complete without cake! When I was younger, my cakes were always homemade. As I grew older and celebrated birthdays in different countries, I started settling for a cupcake with a candle. However, cake remains the centrepiece for birthdays in the UK. We also sing "Happy Birthday" when the cake is revealed, and the birthday person blows out the candles after making a secret wish. Cake is truly central to our tradition. But what about Japan? Japan again is similar the cake is central for children’s birthdays however it may be more absent as people grow up. But the same idea of blowing out candles for a wish is the same.

When it comes to food for birthday parties, there are notable variations between the UK and Japan. In the UK, many families may choose to celebrate at popular food chains. I remember attending a birthday party at McDonald's. Typically, party food in the West tends to be sugary and colorful, including items like ice cream, cakes, sweets, pizza, and hot dogs—the list goes on. As people grow older, they often shift from children's parties to enjoying a quiet drink at a pub or having a meal at their favourite restaurant.

In Japan, the approach to birthday parties is somewhat similar, but with fewer sugary treats. While children's parties still include sweets, the food tends to be more balanced. Typical Japanese party foods feature dishes such as karaage (fried chicken), sukiyaki, and shabu-shabu, which consists of thinly sliced meat cooked in a broth where diners cook for themselves using high-quality ingredients provided by the restaurant. Yaki-niku, a style of barbecue, is also popular. These dishes are generally more expensive, making them suitable for special occasions. Ultimately, the choice of food in both countries reflects personal preferences.

People celebrate their birthdays in various ways depending on their location. In the UK, if someone's birthday falls on the weekend, they often celebrate that weekend. However, if the birthday falls on a weekday, the celebration typically takes place the following weekend. For those with weekday birthdays, a small meal or drink out may be enjoyed, while larger parties are generally scheduled for when people are not working. As individuals get older, they may choose not to celebrate, even if it’s a milestone birthday.

I have my own birthday coming up in March, but unfortunately, it falls on a weekday. The idea of taking a few days off to celebrate that weekend is quite tempting. I’ve been considering visiting Nagoya, which is renowned for its food.

In Japan, there’s a significant difference in birthday celebrations. When a child has a birthday while attending school, the school and parents often collaborate to throw a small celebration with sweets and snacks for the child's classmates. Japanese adults may acknowledge their birthdays but typically do not celebrate on the actual day. If they do celebrate on their birthdays, it is usually with their significant other and a romantic thing, while family and friends often celebrate a bit later.

How old are you? It is considered rude to ask someone how old they are in the UK unless you are close or have been invited to a party or if you are friends with people who have kids, parents can be very proud and chatty of their children’s ages. I know many people who opt to remove their age on SNS as people can get very uncomfortable with this topic. And as I level up, I am also starting to note a little discontent if I am asked. It may also be the fact the program I am on is usually for those a fair bit younger. So perhaps it is justified that being slightly older to all the others is making me a little sad. Japan is the same here also.

The last aspect to compare is the idea of gifts. In the UK if you are invited to a party bring a gift with a card is expected. If you are not so close to the person a bottle of something fancy is also acceptable. In Japan it is also obligatory for the person to have gifts a card is welcome but not a must. If it is a coming-of-age birthday 18/20 money is preferred.

In general Japan and the UK are very similar on the topics of birthdays, there some slight cultural differences like food etc but in general they are both the same. I am excited to hopefully travel to a new prefecture for my birthday and bring my total up to 10 prefectures visited.